I was never a good student. Not good at studies, never scoring well on tests even flunking exams.
For a middle class Indian family flunking exams is a big thing or at least it was back when I was in school. For a family like ours, it was all about getting a good education because that was one sure shot way of having a decent living. I don’t disagree.
But here I was just scraping through and for obvious reasons my parents were worried, not sure my father was but my mother definitely was. Every time I got my test scores my father would say:
You will be responsible for your own funeral
This went on for years until I was in the 10th grade. 10th grade is sort of like a milestone in India. If you get good grades, you stand a chance at getting admission in a good college. My mother, Amma is what I refer to her as, was worried that if things go on the way they have been, I am not going to get past this grade haha. I don’t disagree here either.
When I look back at this time, I realize what a natural leader my Amma has been. And I am sure many mothers are.
So, Amma was worried. What did she do?
She had a few options:
- Hire a private tutor
- Send me to some tuition classes (kind if like after school classes)
- Ignore the situation
- Tutor me herself, support me and do whatever is necessary
It comes as no surprise that she chose option 4. She decided that if she doesn’t personally intervene, it was not going to work. I agree with this too.
She woke me up almost everyday at 5AM to make me study.
She had to learn to teach me, so she did that.
Made sure that I learn Math and science, although she was from arts background.
She put everything on hold. Didn’t care about herself, heck, I don’t even know what her aspirations were. She didn’t blink an eye before putting my needs above hers.
Had she chosen any other option, I don’t think I would’ve done whatever little I have done with my life.
Now I realize, this is what good leadership looks like.
They just choose the right option and stick with that and take it to a logical conclusion. Amma decided and did everything she could in her capacity and beyond to help me sail over. Things could’ve have gone the other way too, sure, but at least she wouldn’t feel that she didn’t try enough. Sometimes, you do everything and throw everything you got, but outcomes still don’t go in your favor, and you cannot do anything about that.
Wasn’t the case here. I turned out just fine and I am sure she must be relieved. I should ask her.
I am forever grateful and indebted to what Amma did.
I hope I am able to do the same for my daughter.
